We know that judging others is not what we want to be doing. Judging means that we are making quick assumptions about someone else’s life without knowing the full story. This type of thinking is nonproductive, limiting, and robs us of seeing the full picture. It is virtually impossible to give up judging entirely; this has more to do with how we see ourselves than how we see others.
This concept was new to me when I read Debbie Ford’s book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. She states that the only way we notice things about other people is because we notice these same things in ourselves. If you notice someone is overweight, it is because you are worried about your weight. If you notice someone is be a “know it all”, it is because you are a “know it all” at times. This also rings true with the good things we notice. If you notice someone doing a wonderful presentation, you noticed it because you too could do a wonderful presentation. If you did not possess the trait, the observation would go unnoticed by you.
Knowing that every trait, good or bad, is something we too possess makes you look at judgement differently. It also allows you to see that in every trait we view negatively, there is actually a gift hidden within it. I think this process really opened my eyes to some of my unrealized traits. Once you see what your judgments mean, you will probably judge more gently with yourself and others.